Why did that heat take me?
It took me to so, many dark,
Places of pain and suffering;
All was lost within that,
World of delusions and fear;
Any hope were dashed upon the,
Dreams of fire and burning;
Death was so rampant in that,
Maze of horror and terror;
Can I only find a safe haven,
For my soul that is scared,
Anywhere would do; mountains,
Or valleys; space or star;
Please let me leave this place,
Of madness and confusion;
All seems real and paths of,
Hurt I dare not live in this,
Life of happiness; bring the,
Trumpets of gladness for,
All is just a shadow of that,
Thing that is thought and mind.
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your poem is great!It makes mine look like a 2 year old has written it!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your kindness but I'm really not that good and I truly enjoy your poetic talent. Remember everyones style is different so don't think that the way you write your poems is like a 2 year old, I bet you will be a very well known poet someday.
ReplyDeleteHello, thanks for your comment on my blog, I added you as follower. Great job you are doing :)
ReplyDeleteYour welcome and thank you very much it means a lot!
ReplyDeleteHey there, real emotion here. And I like the way the lines seem to tumble over themselves, nice rhythm :)
ReplyDeleteI was feeling a lot of emotion when I had the fever. Thank you very much I truly appreciate the compliment.
ReplyDeleteyou know,i do get what you're saying....but i still like ure poems better...they have more feelings 2 it
ReplyDeleteWell your poems now have a lot more feelings within them then when I was the same age, all I wrote about was the clouds and stars and it started getting pretty boring after the frist few; I gave up writting for years because I thought they were terrible but of course I know now that it was silly to think that. So don't think that your poems are bad enough to stop writting; I think I would have had a lot more fun if I kept on writting in all those years that I gave up, I do appreciate that you like my poems though.
ReplyDeleteYou really capture those feverish jumbled feelings and images! You might enjoy Sylvia Plath's "Fever 103" which is her version. Glad to have found your site. Awesome profile pic!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much I'm glad I expressed my emotions it really was a terrible week of my life those five or so years ago! Where can I find her poems? Does she have a blog or website I could look up? I'm glad to have poets like yourself comment on my work so that I know what I'm doing right it's really appreciated and thanks I was trying to have a secret and unknown figure look.
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